This week, something happened that made me pause.
Not because it was dramatic.
And not because anyone had done anything wrong.
It was just… one of those moments where two different systems quietly collided.
The Email
Earlier this week, I received an email from Georgia’s school.
The subject line was about attendance.
Apparently, she’s had five unexcused absences this year—and because of that, I now have to attend a meeting with the principal and the school counsellor.
The interesting part is… I don’t actually know what the five absences are yet.
That comes later. In a letter. From the state.
The email itself didn’t explain anything. It just said we’d crossed a threshold—and now a conversation needs to happen.
And when I read it, my first reaction wasn’t confusion.
It was recognition.
I Knew This System Immediately
I spent 25 years working in banking.
And almost instantly, I knew exactly what I was looking at.
This wasn’t really a school system.
It was an HR system.
Track the events.
Log them.
Wait for the threshold.
Then trigger the process.
- Informal conversation
- Formal conversation
- Documentation
Except this time… the “employee” is ten years old.
And if you’ve ever worked inside structured systems like that, you’ll recognise the feeling straight away — that moment where you stop and go, ah… I know exactly how this is going to play out.
This Is Something I’ve Noticed More Over Time
This wasn’t the first time I’d had that feeling.
It’s something I’ve noticed more and more the longer I’ve lived in America — the way everyday situations are quietly shaped by systems underneath.
Because it’s the same underlying pattern — structure first, human interpretation second.
If you’ve seen that video, you’ll recognise it here too.
What Actually Counts as “Absent”?
Now I do know a couple of the days they’re probably referring to.
One of them was when I picked Georgia up early so we could drive five hours to a dance competition.
If you’re a dance parent, you’ll recognise that rhythm immediately.
Long drives. Early starts. Costumes packed the night before.
If you’re in that world, this is actually one of the best things we’ve ended up relying on for comp weekends:
- Travel garment bags for costumes
- Compact makeup kits that don’t spill everywhere
- Portable garment steamers (absolute lifesaver)
Because none of that fits neatly into a school system.
But the system doesn’t see any of that.
That absence wasn’t excused.
The Five-Minute Absence
Another one?
She arrived about five minutes late one morning.
At her school, if you’re late, you don’t just walk into class—you check in through the front office.
And once that happens…
It’s logged.
Now that five-minute delay sits in the same column as a full-day absence.
Not because it’s the same thing.
But because the system records entries—not meaning.
Where It Starts to Feel… Mechanical
And this is the part that stood out.
The system isn’t designed to interpret context.
It’s designed to record events.
- Late arrival → logged
- Early departure → logged
- Absence → logged
Once the number hits a certain point…
The process activates.
That’s when the email arrives.
That’s when the meeting gets scheduled.
And suddenly something that feels like normal life…
Feels procedural.
I’ve Seen This Before — In a Completely Different Way
Earlier this year, I applied for a role with Child Protective Services.
It was something I genuinely felt drawn to.
After years in banking — dealing with fraud, scams, and vulnerable customers — it felt like a natural extension of that work.
The idea of helping protect children felt meaningful.
I went through the process.
And I was offered the job.
But there was one problem.
I don’t have a university degree.
When Systems Ask a Different Question
It didn’t matter what I’d done.
It didn’t matter the experience.
Because the system wasn’t asking:
“What has he done?”
It was asking:
“What box does he tick?”
And once again…
I recognised the structure immediately.
This Is What Living Between Systems Feels Like
This is something that becomes clearer the longer you live between countries.
Not the obvious differences.
The subtle ones.
Because this is exactly what that feels like.
Not big cultural shocks.
Just small, revealing moments.
It’s Not About Right or Wrong
To be fair—these systems exist for good reasons.
Schools need to track attendance.
There are real situations where children are missing school for serious reasons.
Structure helps identify those situations.
The same way hiring requirements create consistency.
It’s not broken.
It’s just… structured.
But It Creates These Moments
Because every now and then…
The system and real life don’t quite line up.
A five-hour drive to a dance competition becomes an attendance issue.
A five-minute delay becomes an absence.
And normal life starts to feel like it’s being processed.
If You’ve Noticed This Too
This is one of those patterns that keeps showing up in different ways.
👉 You’ll see the same idea here:
American Goodbyes
👉 And here:
American Politness
Different situations.
Same underlying structure.
A Quick Note
If you enjoy these kinds of reflections — the small, in-between moments that don’t usually get talked about —
you can support the channel here:
👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/fromdownundertodownsouth
One of Those “Ah… I See” Moments
Nothing dramatic happened this week.
No one got in trouble.
It was just the system…
Doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Recording events.
Triggering processes.
Asking for a conversation.
And every now and then—
You see that system clearly enough…
That it makes you stop.
And think.
👉 If you prefer listening instead of reading, the full podcast lives here:
https://fromdownundertodownsouth.com/listen/
